where the story ends

posted on Wednesday, December 30, 2009 at 3:17 AM | 0 cmnt/s

I hope whatever that happened jus now will never happen again.

posted on Tuesday, December 29, 2009 at 1:02 AM | 0 cmnt/s

Today, is as usual, sucky.

Woke up at 1.30 today, original plan was to go to city square mall to check out the technika machine there... But then again, after dragging here and there, emoing here and there, decided not to. Headed to cineleisure instead.

Met up with rest there, sync play with him... Can say its an epic failure. First try, Heartbeat. He Got Area7 While i got colours of sorrow. Customizer first try, i FAILED fury. 2nd Try... He got Sin while i got Son of Sun.. and both of us failed.

After that, headed down to cathay to find those jokers, only to end up, no more tickets to Alvin, Theodore and Simon 2 at cathay... end up, totally no movie. Guys, lesson learnt: next time mus buy early... And guess what: Lan session again...

Halfway thru, My mood just swinged down.. And i went to technika to clear my mood.

______________________________________________________________________________

Thanks MYSH, for trying all ways and means to cheer me up.
I promise i will, but i dunno how long i would take...
And u also ah. Tell me cheer up u also emo. ;x
______________________________________________________________________________

When you taught me how to love you,
You forgot to teach me how to forget you.

posted on Sunday, December 27, 2009 at 10:30 PM | 0 cmnt/s

I had been rotting at home all day today.

Heartbroken.

posted on at 2:00 AM | 0 cmnt/s

Today is, shit day gotten better. I guess.

Shall not mention about this afternoon's events lest i snap again.

Anyway, around 4odd, went over to cine to find cheryl, apparently to get some gifts. As i was still very pissed at that time, i went up to timezone to get 2 games of technika to vent my anger... and after that, a photo session with some chipmunks.

DISCLAIMER: My teeth ruins my image ;x







Yea, they all like me somehow. O.O

Credits to Cheryl Sng for these photos. Yea such an awesome camera(wo)man.

Then ben and i sent her off at the bus stop, and we ended up... lan session.

_________________________________________________________________________

I doubt i'll ever forget you.

posted on Saturday, December 26, 2009 at 2:21 PM | 0 cmnt/s

What's up with all the last min backing out.
At least let me know before hand right?

U got anything not happy just say straight in my face,
dunid to be such a bastard to resort to this.

2 Words. Fk Off.

posted on Friday, December 25, 2009 at 11:41 PM | 0 cmnt/s

While everyone had a wonderful christmas this year...
Mine was just pure shit.

posted on at 12:14 PM | 0 cmnt/s

First of all,

Merry Christmas to all.




Christmas eve was not spent with any of my bros, but with joshua instead. Partially because the situation sam is in now sucks balls, but partially because i was being booked by josh first. Anyway, i went down to cine first to book the tickets, only to realise, even when the cinema so big, alot of good seats all taken already... no choice. Then it was stoning time, technikaing at both cine as well as dhoby zonex. Ofcourse, everyone was at dhoby for all the right reasons (CREW), and i finally saw bian face to face. So i've practically seen every regular forumer in the technika forums already. But skills wise... cannot compare to them lah. Anyway, i also kinda saw somebody that i didnt really want to see... so yea.

7pm, went up to cine. Played a few rounds of technika there because joshua was LATE. When he arrived, makan, more technika. He tried first step, and then threw come to me (a song i never passed) to me.... As for me, I LEFT 2 MORE FRAMES TO CLEAR GO HOME TP. $#(*$#)(@*$#)(*#$(*$@#

Then it was Sherlock Holmes. Overall the show's really better than alvin and his assholes (no offence), and i was there saying, if say any of u guys want to get me to watch this movie with you guys i will surely say yes.

Took nightrider home.... $$$ fly.

As for today, i think i'd be rotting the whole day at home. sucks...

________________________________________________________________________________

To a certain someone,
I know u've been waiting for so long already,
But the thing is,
Things will never be the same again.
Last long with your boyf instead of trying to live in the past.
Stay happy. :)

_________________________________________________________________________________

But then again...
Am i able to move on?

posted on Thursday, December 24, 2009 at 1:41 AM | 0 cmnt/s

Christmas eve to be spent with joshua. Somehow looking forward to it.

___________________________________________________________________________________

In the blink of an eye, its christmas soon.
How time flies isnt it.

This year, 4 words describe everything.
Been there, done that.

I've jioed girls, i've been jio-ed.
I've had to choose between 2 girls.
I've hurt girls, and had been hurt by girls.
I've ditched girls, and been ditched...

But when i realised that one thing,
it all seemed to be too late.

posted on Tuesday, December 22, 2009 at 11:35 PM | 0 cmnt/s

Back from 4faith chalet. U can say, i went from 'FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU' face, to 'YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAa' face.

Before that i went to dhoby to technika alone, had quite a few bad games. Failing fury and Son of Sun again, and failing mission 4 -.-

And then went for the chalet. Didnt expect so few people to turn up to be honest. At least Mr See came, however short while he came for. Practically stoned there, until i just went out and helped the guys cook the food. Had quite a lot of fun cooking, as well as joking...

Then came the card games, can play 99 until very tiring. Why? Laughing so hard, stress over having to calculate correctly, stress over power cards... Yea u get the point.

From there on, its just watching tv until 10pm, and then deciding to go on home. Yes, sounds boring isnt it. What to do? DPL project meeting tomorrow, 1130am...

__________________________________________________________________________________

Forgiving is hard, but its the best solution to unhappiness.

In troubled times, staying positive is always the hardest thing to do. However, when you manage to think positive, everything will start to go right for you.

Okay i was just being random.

posted on Monday, December 21, 2009 at 11:52 PM | 0 cmnt/s

BishiBashi madness.



Take note of stage 10 and 11.



Take note of stage 23, 26 and the demolish building stage (forgot what number it is.)

If only...

posted on Saturday, December 19, 2009 at 6:35 AM | 0 cmnt/s

At this time of the day, i am still not tired. So somehow, i decided to blog.

Well, first of all, yesterday (18 December) was Joshua's birthday. Well, happy birthday bro, hope u enjoyed ur 17th. :)

The plan was to meet at 7.30 at vivo. So before that i decided to go down to dhoby zoneX to get some games of technika. Joshua also went down,ended up having him play wangan and jubeat while i was there technikaing. All the way until 6.30. Then trained down to vivo, walk walk, joke, disiao, all the way till 8.30. (Anyway, that fella, joker sia. For the sake of getting a ring for the S.Brothers, he go to every single accessory shop in vivo, and majority of the shops are for FEMALES.)

Then joel came, together with all his friends, and we had dinner @ longJohn. After that, they went over to st james for powerhouse, while josh and i ended up going back to dhoby zonex...

And so he decided to play technika as well. Played that game till zonex's closing and then headed off to cousin's.

Pictures are at my faceboook.

posted on Friday, December 18, 2009 at 3:32 PM | 0 cmnt/s

Photo spam today. :)

First, i shall start with some technika photos.



Ivan playing Sweet Shining Shooting Star.



Ivan playing SSSS, part 2



My first time passing customizer. :D

Now for some chalet photos. (Ps for the dark and poor quality photos, coz my phone sucks.)



Cheryl Sng. Well... -.-



Zh the nerd. See his suspenders and nerd glasses.



Zh, alvin, and chicken wings.



Teckhwee and cheryl. Note the height difference.



Sam and lijun. Ahems.



Weeliam and Tiff. Ahem.



Alvin Lijun Shenwei.



Sam with a super big candy floss.

Thats about all i have. ciaos :D

Living on hope of forgiveness.

posted on Thursday, December 17, 2009 at 5:14 PM | 0 cmnt/s

-Silence- chalet is a total epic failure because of me.

Then again, i also realised.

I have many bastards in my own fam.

A while back, i recieved this sms, asking me why i scolded them when they did nothing.

My reply is here big big for all you guys to see.

Because if u even sit down there and watch and laugh, you are also a part of them.

Yes, i did say this is for entertainment. But Which part of me did i say, you can take pics? Which part of me did i say, you can strip until like this? How will lijun feel when i keep having to ask her to get out, because of things you guys will do to me? Then when i came back from my walk, i ask cheryl come up because they did not have tissue with them. Then i get scolded for being insensitive. Yes, its wrong of us to just leave our bags like that and go out and in. Yet when i bring my closest friend up, i am the one getting scolded.

How about cheryl? If you guys say that u make fun of her because i do, think again. Do i ever call her a beggar? When i heard her tell me this, i just told myself, you guys are not worthy of being friends.

I used to be a bubbly person that would take initiative in things, even though i may not know how to go about things. But notice this chalet, i took a back seat all the way, even to the extent of not joining you guys for major activities. Have u ever asked yourselves why?

I thought that the chalet would lighten up my mood and get me to move on in life. Instead, i only get more upset. As if seeing germaine hate me is not enough, you guys have to do this. -.-

This chalet, it has made me realise one thing.

I dont need you guys, because you guys dont need me.

Its over already. Im sorry guys. And i pray tht such a thing will never happen again.

posted on at 12:36 AM | 0 cmnt/s

My mindset's getting more and more radical by the day.

At this rate, im gonna break down already.

SOmetimes, i wonder why god must put me in such a predicament.

posted on Tuesday, December 15, 2009 at 3:15 AM | 0 cmnt/s

Thou shalt not let thy problems dampen everybody's mood for the chalet in 11hours.

A simple chat with Jingyu, a long conversation with cheryl about our problems, concerned brothers...

And then it really got me thinking.

And in the bus 88 ride, SBS9842D... I finally realised.

Its about time i let go.

Ven, take only the good memories with you,
leave all the unhappiness behind,
for after all, there are many many girls out there,
and she has had loved you once.


I would describe you as a blythe doll.
A blythe doll that i used to treasure a lot.
Now, i am ready to put you down, and let you go.

As of now, i am not ready to enter another relationship again.
To start with, i am too afraid to even like a girl already.

Thanks Cheryl, for being there for me.
For listening to every single thing that i had to say,
be it my advice for you, or my own problems.
I'll promise to smile,
And i hope u will too.

Thanks sam and zh,
the build up to the chalet was a very fruitful one.
Sam, thanks for your concern for both zh and myself.
I'd really appreciate it.
But then again, i'll be fine.
I just need some time before my happy self really comes back.

Zh, dont worry about the things that are going to happen tomorrow.
Most importantly, dont let your own problems dampen the mood tomorrow.
I believe, what we need is time,
before we can regain our happy self again.
2ndbro is here, he says, 'Gambate', to you.

Thanks Jingyu,
Well, first i have to apologise,
because you have to bear with every single nonsense that i come up with when im like this,
to the extent that 80% of the time you will reply with a 'huh?'.
Im also sorry for spamming your inbox with irrelevant smses and all that.
I'll promise you, like how i promised my brothers,
that i'll be completely back.
And don't say dont need, cause i already did.

The fam chalet tomorrow.
It makes me think back about this fam i created.
How they've matured, how they've given me many headaches and happy moments.
This 'new group of friends' i wished for,
It has somehow come true.

Guess i shall have some sleep now then.
Goodnights all.

I will never have the courage to fall for someone ever again.
Unless, someone teaches me the true meaning of this word called,
Love.

posted on Monday, December 14, 2009 at 9:24 PM | 0 cmnt/s

Only one word to describe my mood today. Emotional.

Imagine, you want someone to cheerup, and yet you yourself are unable to. You advise someone some things about love and yet you fail at it. You want to let go of the past and you realise that you cant.

Chalet's tomorrow. But i am not a single bit excited. Troublemakers, plan spoilers, depressed people... Why is it that i have to be in the middle of everything?

I hope bonding is possible, will it? I really dont want my mood to spoil all the chalet proceedings. Neither do i want anybody to see me like this. Having zh and sam see me like this is already bad enough, what about the rest?

Love.
You spell it as L^v in ipa. (internation phonetic alphabet)
It has given me the happiest moments,
But right now,
Its like a dagger, piercing right through the heart.

All i want for christmas is...
A girl who is able to pry open my heart and fix it.

posted on at 4:25 AM | 0 cmnt/s

Arrgh, i have too many things in my mind, i decided to give up adding 'page breaks' and start a new post. LOL

Wells, more or less this is for a certain few people...

First the encouragements.

Cheryl, Freaky.

You know, when u asked me if i could help u buy vodka,
I really got quite a big shock.
Not because of the fact that u wanna drink,
but because of why u wanna drink.

There's no need to be so upset over such a guy (even though i aint any better), yea?
Where's the happy freaky i used to see?
Stay strong yea?
Because there are many, many better guys out there worthy of your love.

Cheryl Sng.

I saw the words in white on your blog.
Somehow, i feel quite helpless.
As a bestfriend i seem unable to help you in anything,
not even the most basic thing of being there.
Plus, i also don't know what to say,
With me myself not having a dad to start with.

But after all, blood ties can never be removed, agree?
All i can say is, stay strong,
I dowana see such things like this ruin every single happy moment that we will have.

Then, the thank yous.

Ben, Zh, Sam.

Dont be surprised if i say this,
the 3 of you are the bros among the 8 that are closest to me.
Ben, the silent one,
Never failing to give support and encouragement in my troubled times.
Zh, the listening ear,
Never failing to tolerate every single nonsense that i make, as well as never failing to be there for me.
Sam, the soulmate,
Who never fails to find ways and means for me to really smile.

Through the chalet planning and all the stuff,
You guys have proven to be the real 'bros'.
Thanks, for everything.
Im sorry, for everything too.

Joel, Joshua

Lol, shag brothers.
Jokers and everything.
But still, two of the best brothers and friends that i can ever find.
Thanks Joel, for the many different times that we would end up talking about girls.
Thanks Joshua, for all the joke moments that never fail to bring a smile on my face.
I promise, that i'll be back at my 100% happy self once again.

Jingyu

-expects you to faint if u ever see your name here, lol, but yea.-
Notice how i've been helping you with everything that u ask me?
Well, to me,
its only right of me to do so,
Since you had been helping me with quite a number of things,
especially speeding up the healing process.

Most importantly, losing a friend doesnt matter anymore,
because i've found a better friend in you.
Same thing, I just wanna say thank you for the past week,
As well as sorry, for being a tad too irritating.

And last but not least...

You.

I dont even expect you to even read this blog anymore.
The events of the past few weeks between us had really set me thinking.
And yes, i was the one that screwed everything up.
Read through all the archives, our old blog,
And realised many things that i never realised back then.
Like, smstnawruoyi. Only today then i knew it meant, "i want your sms".

Like you said, regretting now is too late.

May God bless you in everything you do.
And enjoy your trip. :)

____________________________________________________________________________________

To all the abovementioned people,
I just wanna say a big thankyou to all of you.
May god bless you in everything that you do.

.... While i just continue to heal.

posted on at 12:55 AM | 0 cmnt/s

Submission of LADEL assignment is coming up soon, and i have yet to print my assignment out. Woo.

With too many things going through my mind,
I wonder,
If im even wanted in this world.


If life's like a video player,
I would press rewind.
I would correct every single mistake i've ever made.

But then, in reality, there's no such thing.
All i can do is sit there and suck thumb.

I hate it when im being avoided like plague,
Because i will put the blame on every single thing that happened to myself.
Yet i dont know how to even change myself.

Perhaps, i should have just sticked to my own world,
Instead of trying to enter other worlds.
Only then, things like today will not even happen.

Only two words can explain everything that im thinking now.

"I Wished."

"Would realising hints only now be too late?"

posted on Sunday, December 13, 2009 at 12:57 AM | 0 cmnt/s

Chalet in 2 days (as of now). Cant wait.

Went over to sam's house (AGAIN), this time to get the dry stuffs for the chalet. Dry stuffs like instant noodles, plastic cups, and all the like. Joked alot as well. Like how zh wanted to buy cuttlefish (-.-), A frog that zh thought was chicken wings, as well as that 4dollar hair colour thing.

While at it, i bought a can of adidas deodorant, only 2bugs and 50sands. Very good deal.

After all these, went back to sam's house and discussed some chalet stuffs again, and then went off home.

Now its time to chiong ladel. Then there is dpl to do, and after that...

-Silence- Fam chalet, :)

__________________________________________________________________________________

Thinking through a lot before going to sleep... Wells.

And, before i go to sleep, an ad.

__________________________________________________________________________________

17th Dec 2009 @ St James Powerhouse!

SOIREE CREATION PRESENTS:
Vogue @ St James Power Station

Spinning you through the night with SINGAPORE 2009 DMC CHAMPION!

DJ Ghetto
www.dmcdjchamps.com

LIVE HipHop/R&B ALL NIGHT YO!
With us you will enjoy ALL the latest music!

Doors Open 8.30pm till late!

Pre Sale @ $22
(Before Wed, 16th Dec)
Door Tics @ $25.

FIRST EVER BIRTHDAY TREAT!
If your birthday falls on the 17th/18th, Free entry for you and one friend!

Come down early to get free lightsticks from us!

Guestlist for grab before wednesday!

*this is the party you REALLY have to attend!

Interested parties mail:
shu_mund@hotmail.com/icemilodinosaur@hotmail.com

posted on Saturday, December 12, 2009 at 2:49 AM | 0 cmnt/s

Today marks the dunno how many day in a row that i have been to pasir ris to find sam... Be it passing him money for the chalet or finding him after he booked the chalet, to just slacking around at pasir ris...

All these, it kinda sped up the healing process...

Speaking of the chalet, its coming. Very much looking forward to it (and ofcourse seeing how epic it's gonna turn up). Only thing, its at pasir ris... I hope the time spent there will remove the 'shag' mindset i have whenever i am in pasir ris. Well, i guess so.

As for later on (since its 3am now), i guess its the usual. Technika at dhoby while waiting for the guys, then.... Chambers. -.-

Its time i moved on.
As quoted from joel, if you choose to emo,
everything bad will happen.
Now, i've chosen to move on.
While remembering the happy times you once gave.

Ven is Back.

posted on Thursday, December 10, 2009 at 9:01 PM | 0 cmnt/s

Where i am now, and what i am doing, is epic.

At the time of posting, i am outside Sam's house, waiting for sam and zh to come back. Wtf?

Its offically the start of the holidays. Apart from elearning next week (which i am using to actually have fun @ -Silence- FAM Chalet. Tests cleared, ladel assignment to complete and hand up... Elearning tasks.. then chalet.

Apart from that, my wallet still has a super huge hole from all the technikaing i've been doing.

Glad to see that you're happy.
If u do read this, dont even think about me.
Its for your own good.

Whatever crap that im in now,
I will definitely find a way to overcome it.

posted on at 12:43 AM | 0 cmnt/s

Im simply not in the mood to post anything.

3 words.

Mum, Fuck you.

posted on Wednesday, December 9, 2009 at 1:25 AM | 0 cmnt/s

I just reached home like, half an hour ago. Later on i have to be at jurong east library by 10am. And yet i am still here blogging. I think im either gonna have even heavier panda eyes than what i have now, or going to oversleep for tomorrow.

With regards to today...

I Buanged my DPL test today. Fk Observational Learning.

And to make my two weeks of hell worse...



I lost this yesterday.

posted on Tuesday, December 8, 2009 at 12:43 AM | 0 cmnt/s

I think i'll never skip a day of sleep ever again.

posted on Monday, December 7, 2009 at 2:33 PM | 0 cmnt/s

TETL in less than 2 hours. Prepared to do badly..

Plus i did not even sleep the previous day.

I realised that my heart has a missing piece.
The missing piece, its you.

posted on Sunday, December 6, 2009 at 6:51 PM | 0 cmnt/s

At this point of posting, i am still at my cousin's house. (Though ready to go off already).

Rotted the whole day today. Which, put simply, SUCKS. Once im home i have lots of TETL to study, as well as 20 weird characters called the IPA to memorize. One word. (Joel and Joshua will understand what i mean here.)

Goodluck Ven. Common test week + Observations for dpl on thursday (@Safra Jurong?)+ all the crap = GG.

Oh, did i mention i went through my archives today? (Since i put them back up ever since changing skin). And kinda snapped abit. Thank god the afternoon sleep helps.

The normal, Cheerful Ven will be back soon.
Just a lil' more time,
I'll be there, saying,
"Ven is Back".

I know u'll be happier without me.

posted on at 12:31 AM | 0 cmnt/s

Next week, its my mother's birthday... Yet i am such a fail son..

Been doing the same few things the past week. School, off to Tamp1 for technika, hanging out with the bros, at pasir ris, and today at dhoby. A few days ago, while technikaing, i saw, what was supposedly germaine's friends, but ended up, it was not. (Fyi, the technika machine in T1 is right at the entrance, so people passing by would see us play. shy die.)

Thanks to the guys. At least u all helped, one way or another, to make me smile. I did, but i couldnt smile totally...

Time will remove all hatred and sadness within us.
Im sorry.

posted on Friday, December 4, 2009 at 1:40 AM | 0 cmnt/s

Next week is the dreaded test week. Yea. Test week. 3 modules having assessment.

Things that happened today didnt make things better. Especially quarreling with my old woman... -.- Dont wish to talk about it, visit my plurk to find out more.

I just wished everything would just get over soon.

Havent even start, stop already.
Takecares.

_____________________________________________________________________

Here's a quote from my fren, while smsing her...

"More like you just want to see her uh. But... You're like scaring her off and thus her hating you..."

But now, the damage is done, i cant do anything, except regret.

posted on Wednesday, December 2, 2009 at 11:28 PM | 0 cmnt/s

I cant believe i am so blur today.

I took 2hours just to get home from tamp.

Epic Win.

______________________________________________________________________

It sucks. I either overdo or underdo things.
Talk too much, people find me irritating.
Talk too little, people find me anti.
Suck thumb and die, ven.

I cant fking bring myself to fking hate you.

posted on Tuesday, December 1, 2009 at 10:16 PM | 0 cmnt/s

A long day today. An even longer one tmr.

Well it all began during DPL lecture, where DK (Lecturer) asked me to share what my self-worth was. At first, being unsure of what she wanted, i asked the others to go first. After that, i just shared... Let the whole cohort know what doubts i had for myself.. Ever since then i just snapped.

After all, it is true, when it comes to girls, im just nothing but an epic failure. This is proven later on, when i met cheryl after her work attachment. The original plan was to go to Kap after getting my disc.. But then her parents disapproved. Then bumped into her dad, had a chat with him... And cheryl disappeared after that. Tried to find her, with no avail.

Wow Ven. Her parents disapprove of her going out with guys one to one, yet you still ask her to meet after work. Pure epic win. First, u bungle up your friendship with Germaine, now with Cheryl. What's wrong with you?

To cheryl and Germaine... Im sorry, for everything.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

Technika wise, i now want to clear these 2 songs -.-



and



Getting in my way of clearing customizer set.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

Time to get the emo shit out. Time to be happy about life.

Even when the girl that u like leaves, some 'friends' forsake you... You still have your close friends with you, however few u have.

I'll be strong and move on.

But, a part of me will still miss you.

Because, you were, are, and forever will be, my remedy.
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