where the story ends

For some reason.
posted on Saturday, January 29, 2011 at 1:56 AM | 0 cmnt/s

For some reason I felt something was wrong you said that everything was fun you were looking forward to monday.

But for some reason I chose to take it that you'll be fine.

And now, for some reason, I feel like the worst fool on earth.


Moving on, this week was nothing much, except that I got my new lappy, and the rest of the week is basically, school, school and more school.

Goodnights folks.

It's here.
posted on Wednesday, January 26, 2011 at 10:04 PM | 0 cmnt/s

I feel happy that you've gotten into the JC you've always wanted to go in...
Yet.. its just so fast, you're gonna get busy already.

Nevertheless, all the best yea, I'm always here for you. (:

Being Uniquely *Insert your name here*
posted on at 2:27 AM | 0 cmnt/s

Been ages since I last updated my blog, partly because of school commitments, but also partly because I am really lazy, and my life is routinely interesting.


Last saturday, It was zane's birthday. Just wish he enjoyed his birthday celebration that the technika crew planned for him. (: (yes i am not a handsome dood, just someone with a cocked up face, so dont mind me.)

On the very same day, I did something no guy would do. This was to show a particular someone (you know who you are) who really really want to see me like that. Look below.



Cny's coming. Take care of your health peeps, you wont wanna lie on the bed and recover while everyone else enjoys the various cny goodies.

As for now, goodnight peeps.

One Fine Day.
posted on Friday, January 21, 2011 at 1:13 AM | 0 cmnt/s

Today im gonna blog about this crazy woman who will most of the time leave me speechless with all her epic moments, but will also never fail to put a smile on my super ugly face.








Some shots i took while playing pool with her. Definitely gonna get killed for this.

Somehow I feel I've failed to be the best brother that I've always promised to be, being busy with my own stuffs, whether important or not. But as we've all grown older, had better understanding about things, all i can hope for now is that we do not lose touch with each other, because she's really that important to me.

My imuto has grown up. She's now so beautiful.

Dilemma
posted on Wednesday, January 19, 2011 at 9:33 AM | 0 cmnt/s

Humans are complex creatures, we can never understand them totally.

Bet you guys must be thinking, 'aiya, emo again, i sian diao le'. Well this time, I was just wondering, what then can be the best balance for everything.

-taken from my twitter-

'Talk to you less, you say I don't care. Talk to you more, you say I make use of you.'

So then what must I do so u'll be happy?

Sorry i'm a total dumbass, I cant take hints. Tell me straight in my face.

Loner.
posted on Tuesday, January 18, 2011 at 10:27 PM | 0 cmnt/s

Well i'm a loner now. Or you could say i've always been one.
But at the very least, its better to be a loner with few friends than to have alot of friends, only to realise all of them are fake.




Nobody needs me eh.
Okay I get it.

When the world throws you all the shit in life.
posted on Sunday, January 16, 2011 at 2:42 AM | 0 cmnt/s



Honestly, today just sucks, all because of a simple conversation.

As for why my reaction is like this, its all because of one thing: I AM FUCKING JEALOUS. I shouldnt be, but i am. But there's nothing much i can do about it, except sit in a corner and emo and die, can I?


I dont understand women. A man can never fully understand a woman. Ah Fuck my life.

Edit @ 6.46am.

So Arca decided to bring the whole backstabbing incident up again, and I decided to talk with him. His mind is nothing but full with anger and hatred. But even still, I believe i can bring back his kind side. After all, If i'm the one who can make him this mad, I'll also be the one to bring him back to sanity.

However, from today on, I'll never call anybody else 'bro' except for Alvin, Joshua and vincent, and I'll never call anybody else 'sis' except Cheryl. Call me selfish, I dont care. Call me mean to not accept u as a bro/sis, I can only say I'm sorry. I just don't want to commit to such a bond again. I had enough.

I cannot trust anybody anymore.
Love, friendship, everything.

#339
posted on Wednesday, January 12, 2011 at 10:52 PM | 0 cmnt/s

Somehow, I feel happier for the past few days. Especially today.

Why me...
posted on Tuesday, January 11, 2011 at 5:56 PM | 0 cmnt/s

My precious laptop just died on me.

Thankfully im starting to transcript and write my ICU essay only later on.

Fear...
posted on Monday, January 10, 2011 at 4:28 PM | 0 cmnt/s

Going back to class today was an utter torture. Dont ask why.

Anyway, halfway during lunch, cher called me and really freaked out.. But after my CPD lecture, she called me again, and told me her results. Well it wasnt as good as I expected, but either way, I'm still happy for her. But because of that, this feeling of fear suddenly kicked in.

I was a bad 'best friend' to her in the past, she got really hurt because of the way i treated her, it was only recently that I was really given the chance to make amends, the chance to be that bestfriend and Brother for her. But soon, she's gonna be busy with school...

I've already lost so many brothers because of the things I've did. As far as I see things, only two brothers remain, Vincent and Alvin. But they've started ITE life today, They're gonna be busy too. I cant expect them to always be there for me, can I?

As for Liling, she's working right now, at least she has something to actually keep herself occupied. Which is actually a good thing, since it keeps her away from thinking about the unhappy things which happened.

For Ger, however, its a different story; She has her own social life to lead, what more this year is a crucial year for her, major competitions plus national exams. For the past few days, we've already hardly smsed. But I cant possibly be selfish to always expect her to leave time for me, can I...?

Slowly, one by one, all the people whom have been there with me in my life are having new commitments. I am, too, gonna get real busy with my project cram sessions coming in for the next month, and after that, cny, and then preparations for the ICU paper. Come to think of it, I'm really starting to be afraid. Not because I'd be unable to cope with academic stress, but because.. I'm gonna be real alone. I've already lost so many friends through all my actions, I cannot afford to lose the little people who remain in my life. I really cannot...

These are the people who really keep me going. But i cant really be selfish to keep them by my side forever, can I...?

Since young, I've always been alone.
I really don't wanna be alone again.

Two Sides of a Coin.
posted on Saturday, January 8, 2011 at 10:40 AM | 0 cmnt/s

I'm awake very early for the first time this week. Caught only 4 hours of sleep last night, worthy sacrifice imo. At least its a good way to get my sleep cycle back on track.

Sometimes i wonder if what im doing is a little too extreme; I may have won this psychological warfare, but I dont really seem to be enjoying it. Instead, I do have a guilty conscience doing this... Doesnt help that I've been scolded for doing this too.

Currently soloing cbp again... Since the taggers that are around all the ones i dislike tagging with. I've been soloing since 9am, and till now, NOT A SINGLE HIDDEN NPC HAS COME OUT. Nice?

Ah well, maybe i should just bring out all my frustrations to the pool table later. Cya.

Confusion.
posted on Wednesday, January 5, 2011 at 12:56 AM | 0 cmnt/s



The very same reason why my life is colourful.

Currently tagging hearts while blogging. For the first time also, bought 12 hours of fam channel back to back too. Shall do this till end of the week for the sake of saving money and doing my CFC and ICU assignments too. Kinda no life, but what else can i do?

Checked my email not long ago, saw an email from Ms Asha; Yeap, low attendance email. Well i am okay with meeting her after ICU lecture, but the problem comes to mind: What to tell her? Because the reasons why I give lectures and tutorials a miss are not because i dont wanna go, not because I dont like my class, but its either because I oversleep through the morning classes' timing (Yes, i can wake up at 11am when a class starts at 9), or for the case of CPD, since classes start at 1pm, I always end up oversleeping ON THE BUS. And if you guys know me well enough, I've always been someone who's very hard to wake up. And ever since i started nightlife, I've never really been able to readjust my body clock back to normal. So this kinda sucks.

People have always told me to set multiple alarms, yet even with my hp alarm, my normal alarm clock, and even in the form of my auntie waking me up, I can still sleep through all those. Yes, its just that bad.

Probably gonna research on more drastic measures on getting my body clock readjusted. For now, I'm gonna lifelessly tag through.

Countdown to breakdown.
posted on Sunday, January 2, 2011 at 2:48 AM | 0 cmnt/s



Saw this after watching the fireworks. hahs.

Just 2 days into 2011 and its already very gloomy. I guess right now, i should really say, count down to break down.. As for why, dont ask me, i cant find any explanation either.

Basically, after leaving Josh's place, i went home, bathed, ate a lil, then went over to cheryl's place for the sake of my assignment. Got drenched in the rain again, but this time, i had my jacket (which doubles up as a raincoat), so i was only *HALF* drenched. Okay crap aside, reached that woman's place...

... only to see her playing audi. Slacked there, her parents came, did the interview, then left for home.

And i did read her blog, and then looked back at the past 18years of my life. Because of all the horrible stuffs i did, I am really starting to realise the definition of 'loneliness'.

-I do treasure that friendship i share with cheryl, yet i was such a very bad friend.
-I have done horrible things like betraying people, even though they were by my side all along.
-I have always taken their presence for granted.

Slowly, one by one, they're all leaving. I cant blame anyone else but myself for this, can i?

Ah wells, its just day 2, 363 days more to make full use of this year. Guess i should try to put on a smile?

A million 'i'm sorry's can never heal the damage dealt.

Whenever i see short and cold replies, i feel afraid.

First post in 2011.
posted on Saturday, January 1, 2011 at 1:37 PM | 0 cmnt/s

I wished i could blog this post in a good note. Seriously.

Im currently home, while the guys are still over at joshie's place. Because i felt that i would feel even worse if i were to continue staying over. And the usual me kept it to myself. Really, everyone is having fun, i dont wanna ruin the mood. So i just decided to leave at the stroke of 12 noon.

I saw how you were so relieved and got high spirited when he promised you again. Then i told myself. 'Ven, you must be mentally prepared. Like seriously.'

But while its only right to support you, whatever decision to make, I still have my own fears, I still have my own 'selfish' wants, I'm human, after all..

Im afraid that the decision that I had to make turned out to be a huge mistake.
Im afraid of ruining your happiness.
Im afraid that I wont make a good boyfriend.
But most importantly, Im afraid that Im never gonna get that second chance.

I'm gonna stop this post here, because any morre, and i'll really end up crying.
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