where the story ends

First post in 2011.
posted on Saturday, January 1, 2011 at 1:37 PM | 0 cmnt/s

I wished i could blog this post in a good note. Seriously.

Im currently home, while the guys are still over at joshie's place. Because i felt that i would feel even worse if i were to continue staying over. And the usual me kept it to myself. Really, everyone is having fun, i dont wanna ruin the mood. So i just decided to leave at the stroke of 12 noon.

I saw how you were so relieved and got high spirited when he promised you again. Then i told myself. 'Ven, you must be mentally prepared. Like seriously.'

But while its only right to support you, whatever decision to make, I still have my own fears, I still have my own 'selfish' wants, I'm human, after all..

Im afraid that the decision that I had to make turned out to be a huge mistake.
Im afraid of ruining your happiness.
Im afraid that I wont make a good boyfriend.
But most importantly, Im afraid that Im never gonna get that second chance.

I'm gonna stop this post here, because any morre, and i'll really end up crying.
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