where the story ends

A failed trip
posted on Sunday, October 31, 2010 at 4:00 AM | 0 cmnt/s



Infinity.

Today's trip to Beer Market kinda failed. Thanks to the halloween event. Doesnt help that halfway through, i did a Ben, and wandered off ahead without waiting. Plus snapping at the one-blue infinity ext at cine before that..

As a result, headed to cine till closing time, and then went home by a super packed NR1. Gonna head to bed soon.

I finally know where I stand.

Celebration.
posted on Saturday, October 30, 2010 at 2:15 AM | 0 cmnt/s

Tomorrow, mr arca chicken law teck hwee turns sixteen. This shortie, he's forever selfish, emo, very xialan, always like to find daiji, loves to eat chicken in a barbaric way, plus a lot of bad traits, but one thing that will always stand out among these bad traits...

...is that he never fails to bring a smile to everyone around him.

So, what did we do today? Ofcourse, celebrate his birthday 2 days in advane, because I couldnt make it tomorrow, and the birthday boy couldnt make it on the actual day. Started the whole day by heading to school.. speaking of which, i COULD be punctual... if i didnt oversleep onboard 157. After which, lunched with Joshua at KAP, and chatted through a lot of things. After which, headed to cine, did my usual double value topup, played for a bit, then headed to amk hub, to meet sam.

Bought the cake, kept it at Fengwei's brother's cafe, and then headed back to amkhub's zonex, where sam literally rotted away, while i played jubeat to wait for Kelee... Halfway through, sam left to fetch some of the guys, and kelee showed up soon after, with benedict. Brought them over to the cafe, where everyone was waiting. Well not really.

Most of fengwei's friends came and left... and then we proceeded to order the food. After all the nomnom, decided to just bring out the cake since kelee and benedict had a movie to catch, and some of the guys had to go already. Despite a few hiccups, things went smoothly in the end. Didnt manage to smash a slice of cake on his face to maintain the cleanliness of the cafe, but managed to get him to relive the memory of weeliam's steamboat, the barbaric chicken eating moment.

Cut the cake, ate some sides, and home sweet home for most of the guys. As for the rest of us who stayed, we literally crapped away, and took a lot of pics outside the shop and inside as well. Then it was home sweet home... With most of my voice stolen for no apparent reason. Till now, i've lost most of my voice, probably because of an infection or something.

As for now, I've finished watching Amagami SS ep17, Cant login NoobMS, super bored, and cant sleep. Hence the blog post. As for tomorrow, its off to Beer Market again, where Ian will have his last day of work as a chef there. Was thinking about drinking, but right now, my throat comes first. Sucks doesnt it.

As for now, imma sign off. No pictures this time, gomen nesai.

Sometimes, uncertainty kills.
I do need emotional support too...

Weary.
posted on Wednesday, October 27, 2010 at 2:15 AM | 0 cmnt/s

I was sick yesterday... But now im just feeling tired of everything.

Otaku.,
posted on Sunday, October 24, 2010 at 9:43 AM | 0 cmnt/s



My Current Wallpaper. :D

Probably the first time you guys would ever see me post more than once a day. Lmaos. Anyway, at this time tomorrow, I would be in LT68A, attending a lecture, the start of a very routinely-interesting season. With fked up lecturers. Well guess i have to live with it.

In the meantime, with nothing to do all the time.. Well you've guessed it. From my wallpaper, I have kinda turned into an otaku -.- Now chionging amagami SS, and im already kinda hooked already. >_> i wonder if its a good thing or a bad one. Ha ha.

Till then, cya.

School's tmr.
posted on at 2:33 AM | 0 cmnt/s

Disclaimer, this blog post is by popular demand (you know who you are), and thus shall not have any pictures.

Currently, im camming with somebody, who has just showed me her WHOLE soft toys collection, her mug, her pillow, her domo, aiya, juts basically her whole room lah. And i can tell u, she's super kawaii, even her Chip is not as kawaii as she is.

Most importantly, she's always there for me whenever something happens, always the first to tell me, 'hey, things are gonna be okay'. Most importantly, SHE LOVES ME. LOL.

Okay, cyas.

Edit, By popular demand again.

Hai GermaineKhongZhiYu, ur big big name is here already. DONT COMPRAIN. And yes, I love You. SO DONT COMPLAIN! LOL.

-jeesh i sound very cheesy-

Edit again, this time willingly.

I'm Still not asleep. GG.com. Sigh.

I've always failed to find a balance for everything.

The People Close to the Heart.
posted on Friday, October 22, 2010 at 12:23 AM | 0 cmnt/s



Far East Nightbird.

Time really flies. Im starting a brand new semester on Monday. With a brand new, fucked up timetable. As for today, I shall blog about a few of the people who are very close to me.

Technika Crew

First and foremost, my beloved technika crew. The result of a family which is born over a common passion. Though there may be doubts, disputes, disappointments, but the family spirit will always be around whenever and whereever it matters. To see everyone's smiling faces whenever they play the game they love, or simply hanging out with everyone else, it brings me great joy. Though i may be a hindrance, a nuisance at times, but i really just wanna say, I love you guys a lot, from the bottom of my heart.

-Silence-

My dear fam, its been a while since I've last been active on audi. But that doesnt mean I have forgotten you guys. Sam, Alvin, Fengwei, Weeliam, LiJun, Jocelyn, Rachel, and many more whom i can no longer remember. I will never forget those times, chionging fampoints, kpkbing with each other, and all the silly things we have done as a fam.

Teckhwee

This is the fella who i have the most quarrels and fights with, but yet never fails to be there, whether useful or not, in my darkest times. Very well known for his barbaric chicken eating skills, this is a brother who can be the most irritating fella at times, but also the best friend too. Whatever happens to u now, i want you, this fucker (oops) to stay happy, smiling, always.

Joshua, mr Soyamilk

This fella, he's more well known as soyamilk thanks to his youtube videos, as well as his blackshot montages. But outside of video production and gaming lives, school and personal lives has always been colourful with this brother around. The days where we would just shout across the lecture theatre, irritating all the others in the process. Without him, i guess my life would just be plain, dull and boring. Thanks a lot bro, (:

My three 'wives', Ilina, Irina and Bella

Without these three girls, life in AlcoveSEA would be like life in Celino: Plain, Boring, and after an hour, got bored, offline. Without these three girls, life in general would just be, eat sleep play business sleep.

Irina, the one who took the courage to step out, alone, to meet me (and then run and hide while i was jubeating - sorry i just had to say that), the expressive girl who never fails do bring up a smile on everybody's faces. I always remember her as the happypill, who never fails to light up everybody's mood despite her own problems. Dear irina hun, i want you to really stay this happy all the time, because, there are many people around you that care for you, and want you to be happy. I love you. <3 (:

Bella, the one who'll never fail to lend a listening ear to take in all the craps and problems i have, despite having her olvls and her other countless problems. Heart to heart talks with her have always been one which would turn my troubled face into a smiling one.
Dear Bella hun, give ur all for ur olvls, till then, i promise i'll stay strong. And rest assured, im here praying that ur papers will go smoothly. I love you, <3 (:

Ilina, the one who will never fail to give me a facepalm as well as a smile with all her actions. Sadly, among my three wives, she's also the one i neglected the most. As a result, both she and i have been affected emotionally these days. However, she's always the one who's willing to go the extra mile just to get me back to my usual, hyper self.
Dear yunyun hunhun, extra care and attention from me has never been because of the aftermath of that incident. Because to me, you're the one who've i've always cared for, but perhaps my stupid actions kinda told you otherwise. Actions like going too far overboard in my jokes, or worse still, hurting her by showing extra concern to her sisters. Deep inside, i know, A Million 'I'm Sorry's can never mend a broken heart, hence i dont dare to apologise to you. But it hurts to see you this cold, because i know, deep inside, u dont want to be this cold. I dont even deserve to expecting anymore, but i just want you to know, i still love you, like i've always did. <3

Shall blog another day, before this post becomes too wordy and boring. Cya guys.

Love & Joy.
posted on Monday, October 18, 2010 at 1:12 AM | 0 cmnt/s



There's just that half of me, telling me to give you, give myself, give us a chance.

As for that horrid past i have, It appears that some of it still retains. Give me some time, I'll get rid of all those, plus do some soul-searching for myself too.

Anyway, Vince if u're reading this, i can only say, thanks a lot.. Your words really helped me a lot. (:

I'm So Happy.
posted on Sunday, October 17, 2010 at 1:42 AM | 0 cmnt/s



I'm So Happy, Obtained today. However, The more i listen to this song, the more moody i become, I dont know why.

The past few days have been spent with the technika crew, for friday night, at tricia's place with drago, uguu, hayate and cicada, and for today, at cine with lacus, buddy, sho, drago and zhixian. To Sum up, I had a lot of fun the past few days, as well as got my mind off a few things for a moment.

Meeting up with josh again tomorrow, for another Soyamilk+Helix836 combination.

When Soyamilk Meets Helix.
posted on Friday, October 15, 2010 at 2:06 PM | 0 cmnt/s



Different types of guys in the world. A Soyamilk+Helix836 Collaboration.

Everytime you guys would see me update, it would be the last thing i would do before going to bed. This time round, the opposite happens. Good Morning World.

Today the guys are gonna have some lan session, which i am not really sure if i should even go and say hi, or just give the whole thing a miss. As for the night time, its cine for dbl value, and then off to tricia's for a monopoly session they organised. Would not be bringing my lappy over, as i had a lappy stolen at cine before, so i would not risk it again.

Short update this time, cya.

Cause when the roof caved in and the truth came out, I just didn't know what to do.
posted on Thursday, October 14, 2010 at 7:14 AM | 0 cmnt/s

Im awake since 7am when its supposed to be my holidays. Having a loss of appetitie and not being able to sleep for long did not help either.

So i believe u guys must be wondering, 'Ven, why would u wake up so early?' Well part of the reason is already stated above, as for the other, Im headed to josh's place to do another video. As for what we plan to do on, it'll be decided there and then. As for now, i do feel like sleeping, but ah wells, shall take a small nap during the 157 ride there.

For some unknown reason, my huge appetite seems to have disappeared. Usually, my favourite lemon fish rice, or say a dbl fillet o fish meal from macs would be down in 10 minutes at most. This time round, its different, and its scary. Just one single mouthful and i feel full. Probably wind in the stomach i guess, but its really really scary.

Anyway do you guys remember the blog post dated 6 october? Well right now im no longer all tears or emo or whatsoever because of that... But at the same time, a new set of problems have appeared. The feeling of having to realise something too little too late, and not knowing how to go about making amends. Yea, you get the drift. Probably this is karma for how I've treated many people badly before.

Things will be different. If it ends up the same again, then go ahead and remove me from this world.

Regret
posted on Wednesday, October 13, 2010 at 1:24 AM | 0 cmnt/s



The pictue above kinda sums up what im feeling.

But when its too late to make amends, and u're the bad guy forever...

I cant stop you from hating me,
But i really need you a lot.


Edit at 5.35am

I tried to sleep for at least 3 hours already. And im up, tossing and turning, checking out my fb and twitter, and still thinking about what has happened.

Perhaps, I was really being too biased.

Showing the utmost care and concern, to the wrong person.

So this time, i really wanna prove you wrong, i really do care about you. Very Fucking much.

Edit, again, 7.34am

Still unable to sleep. Thinking of what has happened.

More importantly, thinking of how my 18 years of life has passed by...

How i used to skip school just to escape reality.

How i kept changing couples just to find the perfect one.

How i've broken the hearts of many.

How i've almost got whacked countless of times.

Most importantly, how i lead a sad life.

I may know many people, but less than 5% of them are true friends, due to how i treat them.

As a result, the people who are good to me are often the ones who use me when im useful and dump me aside when i'm past my usefulness value.

Brothers? Seesh. I've given up on them. They have more or less given up on me too.

I used to have a very best friend who would irritate me every single night by calling me for no apparent reason. The times where we would just chat about anything until 8am, the times where she would panic over the phone when she's studying. Hell, and i've treated her like badly. As a result, she left. Obviously, i cannot blame anyone, but myself...

So i guess, karma has struck. HARD. Right now, three 'wives' (as in, gans. They're really close friends irl) have appeared in my lives. But recently, I cant help but feel lonely, as they've made many more friends through a private server.

Ah wells, lets just cut to the chase. Lemme name the three 'wives', B, C and D. Over time, I could feel that C needed my love, care and attention the most, yet im giving the least of all these to her. Over time, all the pain that she suffered silently accumulated, and I guess it has reached its peak. That's when I realised that she needs more love, care, and attention than what i give to the other two.

However, if i come to realise this now, will it all be too late?

If given the chance, I'll suffer double the pain u've gone through. I'm Sorry, Zy.

Neglect.
posted on Tuesday, October 12, 2010 at 1:51 AM | 0 cmnt/s



This is what happens when im asleep. ;x

Supposed to wake up at 1.30pm, and ended up waking at 6.30pm instead. Apart from that, and my regular jubeat session, i dont think there's anything else to update.

How much do I mean to everybody?

Excellent.
posted on Monday, October 11, 2010 at 6:53 AM | 0 cmnt/s




Two excellents i obtained yesterday.

Nothing much to update.. k niow i rmb sth.

Imagine a fella asking you and a few others how to play jubeat. Then another person steals ur bag. And ransacks it, and realise that the bag is nothing but trash. So the fella returns you the bag.

And when you searched the bag, u realised everything was still inside...

... except for some gatsby wax that those fail thieves took with them.

Edit @ 7.26am

If only, my life could be like the jubeat scores, Excellent...

As everyone else lay asleep soundly, I sat by them, and realised taht I'll never be very important in their lives.

After the thunderstorm, a rainbow appears.
posted on Sunday, October 10, 2010 at 3:29 AM | 0 cmnt/s

I guess, everything's okay now.
Indeed, 10/10/10 is a very special day.


And as everyone lay asleep i stayed awake, watching everyone sleep peacefully.

Revamped.
posted on Saturday, October 9, 2010 at 5:37 AM | 0 cmnt/s



A brand new skin. A brand new beginning.

So with my IP file submitted, its officially the start of my holidays... well its only for 2 weeks. The sad life of a cpee student.

And the first thing I did was to head to cine, top up a little for double value, play my games, and then head off to pasir ris to find the sims. Went there with Hayate, and had quite a number of epic facepalm moments.

Scene 1:
Location: Somerset MRT Platform.
-train comes-
Me: Thank god there's no...
-TRAIN IS COMING, TRAIN IS COMING, TRAIN IS COMINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG-

...

-facepalm-

Scene 2:
Location: Inside train, Headed to Pasir ris. Hayate and I were standing, and right infront of us, at the window, was the Dim Sum Aunties, Asking ppl to give up their seat. (its the picture, not the real people.)
Me: Can i turn back?
Hayate: ok.

-Give up, Give up, Give up ur seat....-

-.-!

Also, in the train, at City Hall, the train was packed till there's virtually no space for even the slightest movement. And... u've guessed it,

-Move in, Move in, You can Still Move in....-

Anyway, when we reached Pasir Ris, Hayate called Tricia, while i tried to call Ilina.... -attacked by two ninjas from behind-

Anyway, enough of those crap, settled dinner at WhiteSands mac with both Hayate, as well as Ilina, Bella and Liling. And the three girls chit chat, play with Arca the Chicken, etc etc, while the two guys just continued eating and eating.. Soon after, Tricia came, and we parted ways.

End up, Irina gave us a scare coz she never answer her phone, so we ended up going to the Sims' residence.... Only to meet another puppy called Aiko. GG. Another family who owns a dog. And i have this fear of dogs. Fml.

Literally crapped in their place, and at around 11, went downstairs to slack while watching buses go by. (Well, not really, but buses really did pass by, one by one). Some things happened, dont really wanna elaborate, and caught 81, then transferred to the last 88 home.

So that pretty much sums up 8/10/10 for me, including getting licked by Aiko, and getting lots and lots of facepalms. Well, the sims are really a funny bunch, because they do things that can always bring a smile on ur face. Stay Strong, Ven is always here if u need either one of my two shoulders, a teddy bear to hug, or even just a listening ear.

Guess its off to bed. Nights all.

If you need me, im always here for you.

It all begins with baby steps.
posted on Wednesday, October 6, 2010 at 10:38 PM | 0 cmnt/s

220509, this is a date i'd never, ever, forget. As everyone knows, i've been through so many relationships, had their ups and downs, but realised that they could not replace the person that i really, really, really love.

061010, till now, its been a long 17 months journey. From getting tgt again, to parting, to becoming enemies, becoming sworn siblings, well we could say, we've been through a lot already. What's the difference now? We're not together, even though we treat each other very well. While she's very much happier with another guy as compared to how she was when we were tgt.. Perhaps, he could do what i could not. Perhaps he has repaired the damage I have left. Perhaps, he is just the better guy.

A few days ago, back at alvin's chalet, i brought my laptop to the chalet. As usual, we were chatting on msn (even when she wasnt supposed to), until she spammed my chat with my archives. Yes she knows about it. All the heartbreak that I've been secretly going through, not telling her a single thing about it, because i just dont want her to worry about me. I want her to smile always. I dont wanna see a single teardrop drop from her eyes.

And when i read every single blockquote that she has copy-pasted into our msn chat... It brings back many many memories. It all felt like it happened yesterday.

Earlier, we were smsing each other, and she was wondering what one particular tweet was about. So i tweaked the topic a little, and said that many people wanted me to move on. Here's what she replied.

Lol? Maybe you should? Heh.


At that time, i was ordering my dinner, so i acted like nothing happened. As we chatted on, she sent me this particular sms.

Follow your heart okay. Thats all I can say. But I will always be there for you if you need a listening ear no matter how busy I am k! ^^


At that moment, my heart sank. Because i knew, there was totally no more hope. I HAVE to move on. Its not gonna be worth it anymore. At least one thing i knew, we would still be best siblings.

Many people have been complaining that 'Moving on is the most difficult thing ever.'
I wont complain, I wont whine. Because, like what she has retweeted before,

Moving on is just like a bitter vegetable. It may be bitter, but its good for you.


So today, as i type this blog post, I have decided. To leave the past behind, and to move on to the future. Becase, he can give you happiness, so i should move on, and give another person her happiness.

I'd be ur listening ear too.. No matter how busy i am, where i am, just ring me anywhere, msn, phone, sms, whatever, i'll be here to listen to all u have.
I no longer hope that we can be together... but at least im assured, we are still the best siblings ever.. So stay happy alright? Brother loves you... :')


Probably after a while... I will come out of this a better person, a new person, A new Ven.



And i'll walk to my own happiness...

Goodbye, 22nd's.

Worry.
posted on Monday, October 4, 2010 at 1:32 AM | 0 cmnt/s



I've finally done it.

I pray for everyone around me to be safe and happy...
As for myself... Nah.


My mind's a whirl these days.

the little things.
posted on Sunday, October 3, 2010 at 9:38 AM | 0 cmnt/s



Beautiful, no?

Hello folks im updating at this ungodly hour. Nice much. In case you dont already know, the past few days were spent at Alvin's birthday chalet. But right now, he is the sick patient, so yea. And at this ungodly hour... 1 person is playing some stupid shooter game, 1 is playing his psp, 3 more are sleeping, and im here blogging.

Anyway see the picture above? The result of the hard work one guy has put in for three girls, and no, the guy is not me. All i did was to help light up those candles. Well, what happened was this, I managed to meet the sims while having my chalet ongoing, and after awhile, we went our separate ways. 2 hours later, we met again, this time together with liling. So ms sim zi mei (oops) brought us to some park connector nearby, and after awhile, we have irina and ilina talking to liling, mr alvan (the friends of the sims) emoing at one corner for i dont know why, leaving bella and i to enjoy the rest of the stuffs. After awhile we cleared, then went back to ehub. After being distracted by chicken sounds (-.-) while jubeating, then they gotta go alr. Kinda sad tho, even though it was just a short few hours, they already left a very deep impression.

Meanwhile, through this chalet, i've also learnt something valuable. Teckhwee sleeps like a pig. His snores can become a handphone ringtone too. (Y)

Seesh i am starting to type random gibberish. Maybe its time i get outta here. Even my twitter shows more updates than here. So cya folks.

Its amazing how the little things can make even the saddest hearts smile.

Disappointment.
posted on Friday, October 1, 2010 at 5:39 PM | 0 cmnt/s

Ven is the most fail person on earth. Period.
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