where the story ends

Letter.
posted on Monday, November 29, 2010 at 7:38 PM | 0 cmnt/s

Guess its time.

To everyone who plays jubeat in sg, whether u know about what happen, whether u even bother to find out what happen, whatever. Im sure many have been offended by my rather 'loud', or to you guys, 'noisy' playstyle, as well as making a middle finger out of nothing. For all those, and whatever else u're not happy for, I sincerely apologise for all that has happened.

Whether u wanna believe what I say here, whether u wanna accept this apology or not, its something I cant control. But from now, I Will not upload any more jubeat videos unless by request.

I've said my piece.

Breaking Free.
posted on Sunday, November 28, 2010 at 6:01 PM | 0 cmnt/s



And so, i decided to break free.

/run boredtodeath.exe

I miss you.

...
posted on Saturday, November 27, 2010 at 2:44 AM | 0 cmnt/s

Don't Regret It.

What If.
posted on Friday, November 26, 2010 at 1:59 AM | 0 cmnt/s

What if, i wanted us to be more than friends?
What if, I wanted to be by your side forever?

Infatuation or Love?
posted on Thursday, November 25, 2010 at 1:38 AM | 0 cmnt/s

Now even Saddy has to face this issue already. Can see that he has already grown up. I wanna congratulate him (well because of his fb status), but im also rooting for him.

Bro, chances dont come by often.
As guys, we are the ones who have to take the initiative.

Gambarimasu, Bro. (:


But come to think of it...

Feelings have grown. I wonder, if missing you is a good or a bad thing.

But then, i am afraid i wont be a good boyfriend...

Back to origins.
posted on Tuesday, November 23, 2010 at 1:11 AM | 0 cmnt/s

Quoted from Ian:

There can be 2 types of people at arcades...

1.You go treating every other player is your enemy and just play... minding your own business... and pressuring yourself to be the best

2.Taking a First Step to Getting to know others and making friends with them... And from then a community... developing a bond and relationsh...ip so precious it becomes blood rather then water...

im thankful i was No.2


Sadly, I became a number 1 while being unaware of it. As a result, its caused hell among the jubeat community.

Thus, I guess its time to go back to origins; once timezone and zonex start selling Technika 2 cards, I will massively cut down on jubeat, and go back to the game where I began my arcade gaming life, Technika.

As for why im doing this.. Knowing myself, even if i want to change for the better, I know i have no willpower to do so. And as a result, naturally, many people will start to get offended. Thats exactly what happened when i moved over from Technika to Jubeat.

The recent 2nd round tourney. I suppose many people would be happy that I might not get in to the next round. Well so far, Idk if that is true or not, but whatever it is, I admit defeat. Its good riddance for everyone anyway.

Jubeat aside, my own personal life has not been smooth-sailing anyway...

Right now, if you asked me to summarize it in one phrase, it would be...

"Trapped between the past and present."

Why say so? Past experiences. I've not completely gotten over it. As such, I have fears of not being able to be a good boyfriend. I'm already not a good friend, not a good brother already, no need to talk about being a good boyfriend.

I don't want the girl to have to always be jealous due to my past.
I don't want the girl to have to always be jealous because i know so many girls.
I don't want the girl to think that i'm treating her as a replacement for my past.
I'm afraid... I might not be able to make her happy...

Mentor.
posted on Sunday, November 21, 2010 at 4:21 AM | 0 cmnt/s



Aiseh somebody so pro sia. LOLOLOL.

Elearning coming up this week. So apparently im planning to do the usual, chiong for the first few days, Slack the other days away Work on CFC Essays for the other days. Sucks man. But what to do, this is poly life for you.

Anyways, this weekend has been pretty much enjoyable for me. For friday, had class all the way till 5pm, and then headed to Joshua (izumi)'s place for Ian's birthday celebration. Though there seems to be no sign of a cake around, but everything there was pretty much enjoyable, from the drinking games to the wonderful food (thanks to eden and lacus for the food ;D), and then just sleeping, sleeping, sleeping, using lappy, what not. Left josh's at around 4, reached home at 6 (coz i took 31 and decided to sleep more)...

.. And left for dbg. Brought the guys out for another lan session, and got liling to come along as well. Initially, liling did not want to play inside, but because of the ruling by chambers that we cannot go in just like that, even to find our friends or to find seats for us... everyone played in the end. (Sorry liling for that, x.x) Met melissa there as well. Then went to kfc for supper, where both vins came.

Everyone ended up catching last buses home, except for sam, who had to take 4N home instead. >.>

Reached home, used the lappy, audiied, tagged hearts, and now, blogging. Wondering if i should go out again later.

Please dont shatter the remaining glimmer of hope i have...

Guilt.
posted on Friday, November 19, 2010 at 1:22 AM | 0 cmnt/s

Its been days since that incident. And till now, i still dont know how to face you.

Minamo.
posted on Wednesday, November 17, 2010 at 6:37 AM | 0 cmnt/s



I love you feeling baby my heart
I love you need you baby your voice in my heart

私と二人嫌ですか?　何か言う事無いですか?
暗闇の中　触れた指先　嬉し恥ずかし　「もう知りません」

初めての公園　思い出のブランコ　どこを見ているんですか?
相変わらずですね　鼓動さえ届く距離　「お仕置きです」

恋心　包み込む　水面（みなも）　今だけ素直になりたい
囁く名前はいつでも　胸の奥優しく染める
I love you feeling baby　瞳とじて
I love you need you baby　確かめる想い

I love you feeling baby my heart
I love you need you baby your voice in my heart

これから時間ありますか?（Day after day）
何か予定はありますか?（Looking for you）
立ち止まる足（sunny day）　重なる視線（rainy day）
決意少しだけ揺らぎます

分かち合う喜び　ご褒美の自由時間　問い掛けられる言葉に
振り向いて微笑み　照れ隠して誘う　秘密の場所

恋模様　やわらかな　波紋　少しの勇気をください
二人で過ごせる時間を　こんなにも大事に想う
I love you feeling baby　覚悟決めて
I love you need you baby　走り出す気持ち

隠し切れない　止められない
どうしようもなく　溢れる想い聞いてください

恋色　映し出す　水面（みなも）　伝える淡い波の音
夜空の下　時が止まる　星達が見守ってくれる
I love you feeling baby　輝いてる
I love you need you baby　譲れない想い
I love you feeling baby　色褪せない
I love you need you baby　大切な気持ち

How could i possibly tell you that the person i cant let go of, is you?

Sweet Rain.
posted on Saturday, November 13, 2010 at 4:26 AM | 0 cmnt/s



Rain is acidic: but when u're around, it becomes sweet.

Looks like this blog is only gonna recieve weekly updates at the very least. Time is no longer on my side ever since the school term started.

For most of this week, I've been going over to JP... to eat, eat, slack, slack.. yea u get the point. And it included being pulled up bukit timah hill, then having a h2ht there, and then going down in almost complete darkness.

Now for the not so happy parts of this week... Sometimes i feel that my life's in a complete mess... lets see...

1. teck's been feeling really insecure nowadays, and i have no idea how to make him feel that he's out of place,
2. Just one wrong sentence used would make it ur death sentence,
3. As a result, it has only made me more uncertain about my presence in this world, which is most probably another planet's hell.

During long bus rides, these questions and thoughts always come to mind...

1. Why do i always have a way out for others, but never able to find one for myself?
2. Am i a worthy friend?

but most importantly...

3. I'm still a prisoner of my past.

Sometimes, even my blog no longer helps to make me release everything troubling me. Cya readers (if i even have any).

Doing everything behind the scenes from now on. Sometimes, i really just wanna be selfish, and say, 'I DONT FKING CARE'. but i cant.

Cuppacchino.
posted on Monday, November 8, 2010 at 7:20 PM | 0 cmnt/s

駅の改札を出たら　家に帰らず向かうわ
eki no kaisatsu wo detara uchi ni kaerazu mukau wa
yellow chairに腰掛けて　menuは決まってるの
yellow chair ni koshikakete menu ha kimatteru no
カプチーノ
kapuchi—no

携帯取り出しmail送信　あなたの返事を
keitai toridashi mail soushin anata no henji wo
チクタク待つ為の　tea time
chikutaku matsu tame no tea time

あまいカプチーノ　一口飲んだら
amai kapuchi—no hitokuchi nondara
ホッと一息つけるのに…
hotto hitoiki tsukeru no ni…
とけてく泡を見つめ　今日もまた
toketeku awa wo mitsume kyou mo mata
vibrationは響かないの
vibration ha hibikanai no

一人で過ごすよりあのcafeに行けば　優しい店員さんも
hitori de sugosu yori ano cafe ni ikeba yasashii ten’insan mo
friendlyに「お帰り」って　出迎えてくれるから寂しくないよ
friendly ni “okaeri” tte demukaete kureru kara sabishikunaiyo

欲を出せばあなたと来たい　pasta lunch & sweet’s day♡
yoku wo daseba anata to kitai pasta lunch & sweet’s day ♡
心は晴れるのに
kokoro ha hareru no ni

あまいカプチーノ　今日も頼んで
amai kapuchi—no kyou mo tanonde
飲み終わる前にmail来れば
nomiowaru mae ni mail kureba
“きっとあなたは私が好きっ!”だと願っても
“kitto anata ha watashi ga suki-!” dato negattemo
vibrationは響かないの
vibration ha hibikanai no

あまいカプチーノ　一口飲んだら
amai kapuchi—no hitokuchi nondara
ホッと一息つけるのに…
hotto hitoiki tsukeru no ni…
とけてく泡を見つめ　今日もまた
toketeku awa wo mitsume kyou mo mata
vibrationは響かないの
vibration ha hibikanai no

vibrationは響かないの
vibration ha hibikanai no
ほろ苦いカプチーノ　ごちそうさまです
horonigai kapuchi—no gochisousama desu

Read it this way:
1st row: lyrics in kanji.
2nd row: lyrics in romaji.

Stepping Down.
posted on Sunday, November 7, 2010 at 4:23 PM | 0 cmnt/s



I dont deserve to stay.

Thought about it a lot last night. And with all the recent incidents happening... I guess its time.

My -Silence- family. From bringing them in till now, they have all grown, its about time they carried this legacy forward. After all, i cant keep hold of them forever, can i? Now, arca became boss. He can take charge, I have faith in him. Samuel and alvin, his able assistants. They are able to support their boss, and bring everyone to better memories. Because, i am no longer able to do just that.

Kizunas. Right now, i believe they are all enjoying themselves, and are much happier when i was with them in NMS. After all, without me around, im just good riddance, no? My only wish, is for Irina and Ilina, to not follow my footsteps of leading a guild, a group of friends, and most importantly, a family.

Technika Crew. Put simply. I just do not belong anymore. So i guess i'll take my leave.

So i hope, with myself gone, everyone would be better, living happier, and not even remembering about this irritant called ven helix khoo.

Goodbye.

The blink of an eye.
posted on at 12:39 AM | 0 cmnt/s

Went out with vincent, alvin, teckhwee and samuel today, doing what we used to do best: Lan at town. Usual stuff, makan, dota, audi, Brains (for sam and teck and vince -.-), then supper at KFC, and then slacking at the travellator, taking some pics (which are up on fb), then home sweet home.

..Which made me start to ponder. In the past, we could go out together, but all we did, all the time, was lan, lan and more lan. Right now, with all our busy schedules, we hardly have time to even go out tgt. Also, everyone seems to have changed for the better. Alvin, he's become more calm and composed, Samuel who has become a stronger pillar of strength for us, Vincent who has begun to take more initiative to get everyone together, and finally, Teckhwee, who has become less selfish and putting 'what about him/her/us/they' instead of 'I, Me, Myself'.

And i began to ponder... I did change too... but for the worse.



This is the very reason why you should smile more. Regardless of whatever happens, I'll be there for you, even if its behind the scenes.

Somehow, everything's different. It sucks.
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