where the story ends

Regret
posted on Wednesday, October 13, 2010 at 1:24 AM | 0 cmnt/s



The pictue above kinda sums up what im feeling.

But when its too late to make amends, and u're the bad guy forever...

I cant stop you from hating me,
But i really need you a lot.


Edit at 5.35am

I tried to sleep for at least 3 hours already. And im up, tossing and turning, checking out my fb and twitter, and still thinking about what has happened.

Perhaps, I was really being too biased.

Showing the utmost care and concern, to the wrong person.

So this time, i really wanna prove you wrong, i really do care about you. Very Fucking much.

Edit, again, 7.34am

Still unable to sleep. Thinking of what has happened.

More importantly, thinking of how my 18 years of life has passed by...

How i used to skip school just to escape reality.

How i kept changing couples just to find the perfect one.

How i've broken the hearts of many.

How i've almost got whacked countless of times.

Most importantly, how i lead a sad life.

I may know many people, but less than 5% of them are true friends, due to how i treat them.

As a result, the people who are good to me are often the ones who use me when im useful and dump me aside when i'm past my usefulness value.

Brothers? Seesh. I've given up on them. They have more or less given up on me too.

I used to have a very best friend who would irritate me every single night by calling me for no apparent reason. The times where we would just chat about anything until 8am, the times where she would panic over the phone when she's studying. Hell, and i've treated her like badly. As a result, she left. Obviously, i cannot blame anyone, but myself...

So i guess, karma has struck. HARD. Right now, three 'wives' (as in, gans. They're really close friends irl) have appeared in my lives. But recently, I cant help but feel lonely, as they've made many more friends through a private server.

Ah wells, lets just cut to the chase. Lemme name the three 'wives', B, C and D. Over time, I could feel that C needed my love, care and attention the most, yet im giving the least of all these to her. Over time, all the pain that she suffered silently accumulated, and I guess it has reached its peak. That's when I realised that she needs more love, care, and attention than what i give to the other two.

However, if i come to realise this now, will it all be too late?

If given the chance, I'll suffer double the pain u've gone through. I'm Sorry, Zy.
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