where the story ends

Fear...
posted on Monday, January 10, 2011 at 4:28 PM | 0 cmnt/s

Going back to class today was an utter torture. Dont ask why.

Anyway, halfway during lunch, cher called me and really freaked out.. But after my CPD lecture, she called me again, and told me her results. Well it wasnt as good as I expected, but either way, I'm still happy for her. But because of that, this feeling of fear suddenly kicked in.

I was a bad 'best friend' to her in the past, she got really hurt because of the way i treated her, it was only recently that I was really given the chance to make amends, the chance to be that bestfriend and Brother for her. But soon, she's gonna be busy with school...

I've already lost so many brothers because of the things I've did. As far as I see things, only two brothers remain, Vincent and Alvin. But they've started ITE life today, They're gonna be busy too. I cant expect them to always be there for me, can I?

As for Liling, she's working right now, at least she has something to actually keep herself occupied. Which is actually a good thing, since it keeps her away from thinking about the unhappy things which happened.

For Ger, however, its a different story; She has her own social life to lead, what more this year is a crucial year for her, major competitions plus national exams. For the past few days, we've already hardly smsed. But I cant possibly be selfish to always expect her to leave time for me, can I...?

Slowly, one by one, all the people whom have been there with me in my life are having new commitments. I am, too, gonna get real busy with my project cram sessions coming in for the next month, and after that, cny, and then preparations for the ICU paper. Come to think of it, I'm really starting to be afraid. Not because I'd be unable to cope with academic stress, but because.. I'm gonna be real alone. I've already lost so many friends through all my actions, I cannot afford to lose the little people who remain in my life. I really cannot...

These are the people who really keep me going. But i cant really be selfish to keep them by my side forever, can I...?

Since young, I've always been alone.
I really don't wanna be alone again.
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